Our life is a journey which we
can’t travel alone. We need people to come into our lives from time to time and
be with us for some of the journey. I was born in a joint family so was always
surrounded by grandparents, uncle, aunts and a lot of kids. I was the eldest
son of the family so I was the leader of the young force at our home. It was
always my responsibility to take care of them and to save them from other kids
who tries to beat them or make fun of them.
My optimism and togetherness story
is about the time when I was married and had a 6months old daughter. It was the time when I
had huge debt on my shoulders because of our MBA education loan and also my
wife was not working at that time due to kid. My wife got job after some time
and I was offered onsite to London
and my daughter was 10 months old at that time. I had to leave for London alone
as my wife just got job of her choice after a span of 2.5 years and didn’t
wanted to let it go because of our financial obligations. I waited for more
than 7 months to see both of them as I could only get holidays at that time and
came back to India
for Holi festival. I also wanted to get them their visas etc but there was a
lot of documentation that needed to be taken and submitted. I tried to complete
all formalities and came back to London.
From that day onwards, I kept waiting for them to come to me and it took them
another 4 months before they landed on Heathrow
Airport in London.
Thank Lord, it gave me strength
and took away all my depression and stress. I was so happy to see them again
and show them around the city. Those moments of celebrations were extended when
my daughter started speaking there as well as my birthday came also. Some part
of the city I only thought of visiting with my family and as soon as they came
for 23 days, I planned for all the outings while continuing office work also.
My wife and kid used to board a tube to Central London
and used to come to my office during evening so that we can be together for
some time and can also see some of the landmark buildings and locations. Those
days really helped me come out of all my tensions and reconnect with my family
and daughter. I keep checking some of the moments captured via camera and
handycam to enjoy and relive that time.Here is one of the pics from that time! :-)
Our life is only wonderful if we
are together or if we are with someone who loves and takes care of us. Life is
great with companions and family and is to be lived for those who want to be
with you always. It’s during those times when you can’t access your friends and
family in person, you come to know how much you miss them? I had my share of
tears when I was staying all alone and it’s a part and parcel of my life. But
being together – it all starts from the
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How far would you go to get
closer to someone you love?
We all do like to spend some quality time with the
people we love, it can be parents, in laws, wife, son/daughter, brother,
sister, cousin, relatives or friends. We all try to go as further as our
pockets and time allows us to be with them. I have a small story which I would
like to share where I think I went a lot further to get close to my wife and
daughter. My wife used to work in Mumbai whereas I was in Delhi after our marriage. She took some 3
months leave to come to Delhi
and look out for job. She tried a lot but when the time was over, her company
retrenched her without any notice. She fought hard for a good job in her life
and did got but now it was no more. She came back to Delhi and she tried a lot but she got no job
in the area of specialization she wanted. Meanwhile, we were blessed with a
beautiful daughter and it was already some 14 months that she was without the
job. We tried a lot for her job and even used the services of job websites but
of no use. She got a job in Mumbai once again which was a contract but the
difficulty lied in the small daughter which was just 4 months old at that time.
We fought a lot over going and not going as our daughter is small and she will
get a job in Delhi.
Meanwhile, with a new year, we tried a lot and it was the time, when I used to
sit outside with our 6 months old daughter in the car, while she is being
interviewed. My parents and her parents were out-stationed and could not come
to help us too. She was interviewed by many companies in her job profile and as
locations was far so I used to take both of them with me. It used to be a great
experience as my daughter wanted to be with her mother always. Finally, there
was that day when I knew that she will crack the job interview this time and we
were sitting in the car for three days while she was offered the job. It was a
great day because it took her more than 20 months to get the same kind of job
she was looking for and all because I was not able to move to Mumbai myself.
Her very first day at job, it was
my day to take care of our 8 months old daughter and I took a leave to take
care of her. It was the day when I realized that it’s so difficult to raise a
kid without mother being present. She will be gone the whole day and I tried to
feed her on her mom’s advice, played with her but that day I was not able to
brush my teeth. She didn’t allowed me to move anywhere as she thought as I will
also be gone as she couldn’t find her mom too. Considering my situation, my
mother in law came and supported us for some days. But it was difficult for her
too and I got an onsite offer around the same time. This was required to be
grabbed as we both had to pay for our educational loans. This created to a lot
of confusion in our lives and with small daughter it brought a lot of stress as
to where to keep her. We tried keeping her with a maid but it made her a little
slow and tired. With me gone to London,
she was taken care by the maid only but then something happened and the maid
left. My daughter had to go to her maternal grandparents but they could only
take care of her for about a month or so. It was the time when my mother took
hold of my daughter and she was facing all the change of places. She was
getting good care but then suddenly my mother met with an accident and her
right hand was fractured. Again, it was a great problem for the family, so my
daughter was shifted to my chacha ji home where my cousins took great care of
her. My mother didn’t want her to go anywhere else, as she made a lot of
friends there and she was happy with them. It was quiet a stressful time and I
could not take my wife as I didn’t had the marriage certificate. My wife used
to travel 300 kms every weekend to meet our daughter. It used to disturb my
daughter’s frame of mind as she would miss her after she is gone every Sunday
night. It was also not that safe to travel alone 300 kms every Friday and
Sunday nights and too tiring.
I came back from London after a span of 7 months with a lot of
toys, sweets and chocolates but she was afraid to come to me. Though she
recognized me but it was after sometime she came to me. My brother and his wife
too came from USA
around the same time. She was very happy to see us all. I drove the marriage
certificate thing as my wife’s mom was busy in something and couldn’t travel.
It was becoming difficult but finally with a lot of persuasion we got our
marriage certificate formalities completed. When I talked to my company about
their VISA processing they said that there is no budget as it’s March end. We
will approve your request on 1 April. They did approve the request over email
on 1 April but I could not raise the request in our system as the cost centres
for the old year got expired and the new ones was not made till the 15th
May. Again a lot of trouble and when I raised the request they got their visa’s
processed after a lot of documentation went through me from London. It was around the time to travel, my
project said that they are releasing me and all the hopes again diminished to
show them the city of London.
My boss wanted me to go back to India
and I requested to stay may be in another project and they found out another
project for me. But again, the travel request was not approved and the system
wanted to know whether I will be in London
for another six months or not? Somehow after a lot of drama, my super boss
approved their travel and they finally came to see me in London.
It was a great pleasure to see both
of them again after a gap of 4 months. It was a great beginning of good times
and we saw the great city of London, Bath, Stonehenge, Isle of Skye
together. My daughter started speaking there only but also got addicted to a
lot of milk there. They stayed there for 23 days and it was the best time of my
life. I celebrated my birthday during that time. I soon came back as I could not find other goal for myself to achieve
after everything was sorted out in my life. I went back in another 2 months
time to stay with my family and my daughter was admitted to play way school and
I used to pick her after the office. It was a great time that I spend with here
while travelling back to home and thereafter.
Once again I am in South Africa and she is in India and I do
miss them a lot…
British Airways reduced the distance between families via their services and I am too looking forward to dividing the distances between me and my family.
A woman is the whole of nature
wrapped up beautifully and sent to the world to make it a better place. She has
the power to create, nourish, nurture, love and heal. Today, right from the
moment the doctor tells a mother the three golden words, "It's a
girl", a strange fear tugs the mother's heart. Fear of rejection, fear of
what might be done to her because of the lack of that primarily important Y
chromosome and the greatest of all, the fear of her little angel having to deal
with rapists, eve teasers and dowry seekers. Each breathing moment carries a
feeling of helplessness in the parents' hearts, when they see the apple of
their eyes out alone in this big bad world.
In those moments of truth, it’s
the brother/cousins who are of your own age and always acts as your friends for
life. They are the protector and always are ready to go the extra mile to save
you from all praying eyes. My wife is totally devoted to his brother Avanish
who made her stand on her own feet. He helped her did ICWA and when that didn’t
fetched her the job, he helped her to pursue MBA. He even helped her
financially with the coaching fees, books, filling up all the forms and travel
expenses. As she took admission to a prestigious MBA college he helped her with
monthly expenses throughout for 2 years. She did manage to fetch a scholarship
but all the other expenses were covered by him through his hard earned money.
Finally he spent whatever was necessary to spent on her marriage to me, we had
a love marriage and so no dowry was exchanged as we both saved money for our
household goods and expenses through our jobs.
Overall, it’s his great love and
sacrifice that my wife is happy with her life and what she is earning and what
kind of job she is doing without MBA and with MBA. Avanish surely has helped
her excel in her career and life.
Thanks a lot Saale sahib!
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