The safety of Women- a topic that
called for heated discussions and massive protests throughout the country.
India has witnessed a huge uproar, a revolution against lecherous members
of the society who have caused immense shame to the entire country through
their henious acts.
The question on everyone's
lips… the question that has been echoing around the globe, which has been
blaring out of televisions and radio stations worldwide – “What is wrong
with Indian men”? Why
is it that there are incessant incidences reported almost every day and
even after numerous claims and promises by the government, police and judiciary
nothing seems to have improved? Infact, the situation has worsened over
time. Who is responsible for the safety of women in a country of 1 billion
people?
The answer lies within each one
of us, the only problem is we do not realize it. It needs a lot of brainstorming
to identify that WE are responsible for all that is happening around us.
Eve teasing, molestation and rape are the draconian forms of everyday petty
incidences at our homes that we ignore. Each time a couple repents the
birth of a girl child, however secretly, a shameful sin transpires. Each
time a family favors their son over their daughter, the seed of superiority
is sown in the mind of the little boy. The family gives fuel to this fire
of superiority everyday by showing preferences towards the boy. It can
be as trivial as letting him to go out and play while refraining his sister
from doing so or dividing the responsibilities of household work among
siblings in such a way that the girl gets to be holed up in the kitchen
while the boy can go out to the market. As Mahatma Gandhi has said, for
the first seven years of their lives, children are like clay. They will
mould into respectful, responsible and honest citizens if you teach them
to. This is the time children need to be taught equality and respect towards
the opposite gender. We have to nip the mere thought of gender inequality
in its bud.
The momentum gathered by the fight
for a woman’s safety reveals a sad and bitter truth about our society.
I believe that this issue cannot be solved superficially by shouting slogans
or amending a few laws. After all, it is upto us to either follow the laws
effectively or to flaunt them. If every father stops feeling the burden
of his daughter’s marriage, if every mother seeks pride in letting her
daughter make important decisions of her life herself, I bet the problem
is solved there itself.
The situation we face today is
not because of a man’s libido. Nor does it depend on the clothes of the
girl or how late she chooses to come back home. The problem lies in the
eyes of the beholder. The problem is the lack of respect given to women
in this patriarchal society, by men and women alike. If every individual
recognizes that a girl is not an object, that her place is not reserved
in the kitchen, that she is not merely meant to cook and make life easier
for her husband, that she is someone who has her own priorities, ambitions
and dreams, we will triumph over this problem.
A major lesson that we all need
to learn is that the Indian man is not solely responsible. At a time when
everyone is ready to jump down the throat of every man they see, we must
not forget the brave men who stood up to protect their friends, girlfriends,
sisters or even complete strangers. Many men, like Keenan and Reuben have
lost their lives fighting to stand up for the equality they believe in.
Let us not forget that women are equally responsible. A few days after
the Delhi gang rape, a woman sensitization program was being conducted
by a senior woman scientist. In front of a large audience comprising of
policemen, the public and senior government officials she lambasted the
victim .In her opinion the gang rape victim should not have fought back
while being raped since that may have ‘saved’ her intestines. She also
wondered what she was doing at 9 PM alone with a boy. When powerful women
are actively participating in victim blaming, how do we expect to change
the mindset of boys who are brought up by these women?
Let us not forget that the responsibility
of keeping a woman ‘safe’ is not merely restricted to protecting her
from rape. It encompasses protecting her dignity and self esteem even after
she has been raped. It means to never, ever blame the victim or make any
excuses for the crime. It implies never questioning her intentions of staying
out at night or wearing what she wants to. Would we question our sons if
they wanted to wear shorts and go out for ice cream at midnight? Protecting
her safety signifies protecting her from discrimination at every single
step of her life.
Today, when the entire nation is
clamoring over the problem, cribbing over the rules, critising the judiciary,
the police and the government, I appeal to the people of India, dig deep
into your family, because you have the capacity to bring about a change
in your family and your neighborhood. Feel proud to be the father of a
girl, don’t curb her freedom. Instead teach your son to respect his sister.
Teach your daughter to be fearless and independent. Teach your children
equality. Do not let their genders guide what you teach them. Irrespective
of their sex, teach your children to cook and to play cricket. Teach them
to sew buttons and to plan for their future. If your son is interested
in fashion, send him to an art class. If your daughter is an athlete, coach
her for the Olympics. While many have labeled this period in India as a
fight for woman empowerment, I believe this is a fight for equality.
Thanks a lot!
This blog post is for #RingTheBell initiative. More information is available at www.bellbajao.org
Laws alone are not enough. Ring The
Bell believes in the power of individual and collective action to challenge
the habits, norms, and cultures that perpetuate violence. One person adds up
to one million; one million acts add up to change. You can be a part of the change by telling us how YOU will Ring The Bell, and inspiring your readers to do the same.
What action will you take to bring violence against women to a halt? Blog
about your experiences, your intentions, and make a promise!
