Soldier for Women – A Friend in need

Woman’s safety today is not just about saving her honour or keeping her protected from the omnipresent lecherous eyes around. It is more about the all round well being of women right from the moment that she is an egg in her mother's womb. It encompasses the wide spectrum of crimes against her including female foeticide, female infanticide, girl child abuse and trafficking, honour killings, eve teasing, rapes, dowry related killings and every single thing that happens to women across the globe, all because she is physically not as strong as her male counterparts and socially not as empowered as them. The recent Delhi rape-murder case had shook the nation and evoked reaction from every soul having a heart. The only mistake the poor girl made was to be out late at night, wearing an allegedly provocative dress and responded to the unjustified comments passed by the gang of men. The price she paid was a battle at the hospital and ultimately death. This particular case was brought to light hence it gained momentum, but what about the thousands of cases that go unreported or worse reported yet ignored? I recall watching a movie "Matrubhoomi" which painted a horrid picture of what the nation would turn into if things continued the way they are with respect to killing of girl children. General awareness needs to be spread among the simpletons around us, to make them realize the wider picture of the consequences that await such gruesome deeds.

As mentioned in my earlier blogs, it’s the attitude towards women that matters the most and you need to always aware that your family must be having a women in your families. If you are passing comments so rest assured that your sister/wife/cousin must also be listening to. What goes out comes back to you with added interest – that’s KARMA! Though talking about religious stuff doesn’t matter to those who are already leading their lives the wrong way.

I would like to dedicate this post to one of my known who was studying with me at CDAC Noida and used to travel from Palam to Sector 62 Noida daily through public transport way back in 2001. At that time there was no Metro in Delhi NCR and it was only the white line buses and shared autos from 12-22 to Khoda and sector 62 in Noida. To come from Palam to Dhaulan Kuan was also difficult with shared auto filled full & IGI work going on and no highways. The autowallahs in Palam area used to fill all ladies and then more people more than auto can carry. Ladies did complaint of the same but no ears as there was no other way to travel.

My friend A. Mathur was travelling as usual that day and a girl was being teased by the autowallahs being pushed for the seat to be created for more people. My friend tried to stop Autowallah from doing that and it literally came to hand fighting between the two. Not only my friend and the girl was thrown out from the auto, his wallet was also taken and he has to call his father at home to bring his car and some money so that he can make it to the study centre. It was his courage and sincerity towards women that he was able to stand against those people. I felt very proud to know that guy and being friend with him.

Thanks a lot!

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Soldier for Women - It's us all - Father of daughters!

The safety of Women- a topic that called for heated discussions and massive protests throughout the country. India has witnessed a huge uproar, a revolution against lecherous members of the society who have caused immense shame to the entire country through their heinous acts.

The question on everyone's lips… the question that has been echoing around the globe, which has been blaring out of televisions and radio stations worldwide – “What is wrong with Indian men”?  Why is it that there are incessant incidences reported almost every day and even after numerous claims and promises by the government, police and judiciary nothing seems to have improved? Infact, the situation has worsened over time. Who is responsible for the safety of women in a country of 1 billion people??

The answer lies within each one of us, the only problem is we do not realize it. It needs a lot of brainstorming to identify that WE are responsible for all that is happening around us. Eve teasing, molestation and rape are the draconian forms of everyday petty incidences at our homes that we ignore. Each time a couple repents the birth of a girl child, however secretly, a shameful sin transpires. Each time a family favors their son over their daughter, the seed of superiority is sown in the mind of the little boy. The family gives fuel to this fire of superiority everyday by showing preferences towards the boy. It can be as trivial as letting him to go out and play while refraining his sister from doing so or dividing the responsibilities of household work among siblings in such a way that the girl gets to be holed up in the kitchen while the boy can go out to the market. As Mahatma Gandhi has said, for the first seven years of their lives, children are like clay. They will mould into respectful, responsible and honest citizens if you teach them to. This is the time children need to be taught equality and respect towards the opposite gender. We have to nip the mere thought of gender inequality in its bud.

The momentum gathered by the fight for a woman’s safety reveals a sad and bitter truth about our society. I believe that this issue cannot be solved superficially by shouting slogans or amending a few laws. After all, it is upto us to either follow the laws effectively or to flaunt them. If every father stops feeling the burden of his daughter’s marriage, if every mother seeks pride in letting her daughter make important decisions of her life herself, I bet the problem is solved there itself.

The situation we face today is not because of a man’s libido. Nor does it depend on the clothes of the girl or how late she chooses to come back home. The problem lies in the eyes of the beholder. The problem is the lack of respect given to women in this patriarchal society, by men and women alike. If every individual recognizes that a girl is not an object, that her place is not reserved in the kitchen, that she is not merely meant to cook and make life easier for her husband, that she is someone who has her own priorities, ambitions and dreams, we will triumph over this problem.

A major lesson that we all need to learn is that the Indian man is not solely responsible. At a time when everyone is ready to jump down the throat of every man they see, we must not forget the brave men who stood up to protect their friends, girlfriends, sisters or even complete strangers. Many men, like Keenan and Reuben have lost their lives fighting to stand up for the equality they believe in. Let us not forget that women are equally responsible. A few days after the Delhi gang rape, a woman sensitization program was being conducted by a senior woman scientist. In front of a large audience comprising of policemen, the public and senior government officials she lambasted the victim .In her opinion the gang rape victim should not have fought back while being raped since that may have ‘saved’ her intestines. She also wondered what she was doing at 9 PM alone with a boy. When powerful women are actively participating in victim blaming, how do we expect to change the mindset of boys who are brought up by these women?

Let us not forget that the responsibility of keeping a woman ‘safe’ is not merely restricted to protecting her from rape. It encompasses protecting her dignity and self esteem even after she has been raped. It means to never, ever blame the victim or make any excuses for the crime. It implies never questioning her intentions of staying out at night or wearing what she wants to. Would we question our sons if they wanted to wear shorts and go out for ice cream at midnight? Protecting her safety signifies protecting her from discrimination at every single step of her life.

Today, when the entire nation is clamoring over the problem, cribbing over the rules, critising the judiciary, the police and the government, I appeal to the people of India, dig deep into your family, because you have the capacity to bring about a change in your family and your neighborhood. Feel proud to be the father of a girl, don’t curb her freedom. Instead teach your son to respect his sister. Teach your daughter to be fearless and independent. Teach your children equality. Do not let their genders guide what you teach them. Irrespective of their sex, teach your children to cook and to play cricket. Teach them to sew buttons and to plan for their future. If your son is interested in fashion, send him to an art class. If your daughter is an athlete, coach her for the Olympics. While many have labeled this period in India as a fight for woman empowerment, I believe this is a fight for equality.

I see a soldier ready to think different and make my daughter all powerful to handle all life situations independently. I will be there to support her but not help her. It's the attitude that matters and every father has to become one Soldier in his or her family and do not differentiate kids on the basis of girl or boy! 

Thanks all!    

This post is a part of <a title="#Soldierforwomen" href="http://www.gillette.com/en-IN/" target="_blank">#Soldierforwomen</a> in association with <a title="The Best Community of Indian Bloggers" href="http://www.blogadda.com" target="_blank">BlogAdda.com</a>