Our life is a journey which we
can’t travel alone. We need people to come into our lives from time to time and
be with us for some of the journey. I was born in a joint family so was always
surrounded by grandparents, uncle, aunts and a lot of kids. I was the eldest
son of the family so I was the leader of the young force at our home. It was
always my responsibility to take care of them and to save them from other kids
who tries to beat them or make fun of them.
My optimism and togetherness story
is about the time when I was married and had a 6months old daughter. It was the time when I
had huge debt on my shoulders because of our MBA education loan and also my
wife was not working at that time due to kid. My wife got job after some time
and I was offered onsite to London
and my daughter was 10 months old at that time. I had to leave for London alone
as my wife just got job of her choice after a span of 2.5 years and didn’t
wanted to let it go because of our financial obligations. I waited for more
than 7 months to see both of them as I could only get holidays at that time and
came back to India
for Holi festival. I also wanted to get them their visas etc but there was a
lot of documentation that needed to be taken and submitted. I tried to complete
all formalities and came back to London.
From that day onwards, I kept waiting for them to come to me and it took them
another 4 months before they landed on Heathrow
Airport in London.
Thank Lord, it gave me strength
and took away all my depression and stress. I was so happy to see them again
and show them around the city. Those moments of celebrations were extended when
my daughter started speaking there as well as my birthday came also. Some part
of the city I only thought of visiting with my family and as soon as they came
for 23 days, I planned for all the outings while continuing office work also.
My wife and kid used to board a tube to Central London
and used to come to my office during evening so that we can be together for
some time and can also see some of the landmark buildings and locations. Those
days really helped me come out of all my tensions and reconnect with my family
and daughter. I keep checking some of the moments captured via camera and
handycam to enjoy and relive that time.Here is one of the pics from that time! :-)
Our life is only wonderful if we
are together or if we are with someone who loves and takes care of us. Life is
great with companions and family and is to be lived for those who want to be
with you always. It’s during those times when you can’t access your friends and
family in person, you come to know how much you miss them? I had my share of
tears when I was staying all alone and it’s a part and parcel of my life. But
being together – it all starts from the
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life forever!
As they say
change is inevitable and to remain in perfect working condition all the time,
we constantly need to strive hard towards accepting change in our life from
time to time. We are so much comfortable in our comfort zones and don’t want anything
to change around us. With the globalization and localization of markets, economies
around us are changing all the time. What was popular in the market earlier is
now outdated! Technology is making this possible to constantly perform better
than before and be the best you can be.
I was
constantly glued to the mentality of staying in my comfort zone since school
and it was so difficult to me even when I changed schools during my metric and
senior secondary classes. I loved meeting new people but then it was always so
difficult to build friendships as it takes time to touch each other’s hearts.
It was a huge
change of mindset as well as personality when I first came to New Delhi to
prepare for the engineering entrance exams way back in 1996. It was the first
time I had to stay outside of my home for more than 8 months and I only visited
my home twice at most. The people and the places in Delhi are not my own and I
never knew then earlier. I was always lost in the crowd and sometimes took the
wrong buses to my destination. It all made me learn more about the city and the
culture of our national capital. I was able to learn something new every day
which made me more extroverts and I could now talk to random people freely. I
made new friends which helped me to keep focused on studies and learn about the
city.
The skills
that I learned in the capital city helped me throughout my studies and life in
Engineering and afterwards also. I did a CDAC course as I was unable to get a
job of my choice and never wanted to be a Lecturer at that start of my career.
It definitely impacted me a lot and I lost around 2 years of my life without
any job. I was depressed as I went through 100 job interviews with no success
at all. Then again it was the moment of change for me as I started my career
after two years of engineering in a school as a computer teacher with salary
just equivalent to what my parents used to give me as a pocket money. The
moment definitely brought huge change in my life as it took me out of my
depression as I met new people every day and it made me happy as I was working
finally.
From that day
onwards, I kept myself in check to keep changing from time to time to be the
best in everything I do and learn. I changed many places, many houses, and many
cities and met many people from time to time of my life and always it inspired
me, taught me and made me a great human being. Check out https://housing.com/for how you can bring change in your
life by changing places.
We live on hopes and aspirations;
it’s that positivity which keeps us going to achieve whatever we want to. We
all want the best for ourselves and to make these dreams a reality we need to
constantly work towards them. Optimism has much more power than any other thing
in the world. It gives you a lot of passion to easily overcome all fears and
limiting thoughts to come out on top.
There are always some great
things happening in our life which keeps our hopes hanging in there. It’s only
at the time of distress we want something to keep us going. It’s during those
moments that something lifts us up to make the journey easier. I too have many
stories of Optimism from my life which brought the necessary power during those
times to get it through.
My story happened at the time
when I was in Class 12th and wanted to sit for the Engineering
entrance exams. I was not much aware about the exams and was only preparing to
pass the class 12th exam. As thought of I was not able to clear the
entrance exam. The next step of action was to be aware about all the courses
which can offer me help to clear the exam. I started watching all the
advertisements in all the newspapers and came to Delhi from my home town. I went and checked
some of the coaching institutes and found out one of the chosen ones near my
relatives home. During that time in 1996, the Kota
effect was not there and only some institutes in Delhi used to offer coaching for engineering
students.
I took admission to the coaching
institute and started living in Delhi.
I was shifted to main centre of the institute and was travelling in Blue lines
buses for the first time. The earlier institute center used to have their bus drop
service available. It was a sudden change in my life as I never used to
remember the route and always was travelling to unknown places in the city.
Sometimes to reach class on time and missing the intended bus, I used to break
the routes.
It was hectic but I stayed
optimistic that I will be able to clear the exam. It looked like I was studying
the class for the first time as the teachers were very great at the institute.
I did whatever I could to clear the exam and always kept hope. I lost both of
my maternal grandparents during that year and it was really sad. But one day,
soon after their death they came to my dreams and my grandmother took me to one
room full of new clothes and asked me to choose whichever I want to wear. She
also offered me in a new jacket and it was so enriching experience and gave me a
hope that elders blessings are with me now.
It was that dream which really
gave me a lot of hope and set the future clear for me. I did my engineering and
learned a lot during that one year in Delhi
which helped me in my journey of life from time to time. I have so many moments
to cherish from that period of my life.
Gravity and it's ways are same for everyone and sometimes this makes the equation really nice for visual pleasures only in case of water. We don't like other things falling from the sky on us.
The water looks as pure and white when it splits itself into many parts and then rejoins again after the fall.
It gives us hope that we too can be broken down by expectations, self criticisms and other goals but after the fall we can again find our broken parts and regain all the strength to continue the life's journey.
Yeah, there will be something of us which will be left behind as it was too small that it could not regain itself after the fall - It will be our "Ego" that during the fall will encounter a lot of shattering and that's best for us.
The lesser you are proud, the more you will be humble to accept the fact that you too have seen the fall.
We all have watched Sun setting itself against the backdrop of mountains, sea, river or houses every now and then. We are so eager to see the same also when we are at some hill station or on holidays.
Is it about the beauty and colors related to setting of the sun we want to see or is it the time to reflect on that life is short and death is near?
I always think that life is too short to focus on our ego and expectations of others. Why can't we be selfless for everything we do? Do we fear that people will take us granted? Do we feel that it will make us more vulnerable?
Death is the ultimate truth and once you have reached that phase, all your ego, hopes, feelings, money everything will be left behind. You will have to break away that bond between you and all the worldly things that we acquire all throughout our lives. Death is not a comfort zone we wanted to go into but Yes, I want to detach myself from all these things so as to die comfortably.
Breaking away from the regular travel destination theme of this week's #Indispire, I thought of some of the moments where I want myself to be once again from my life. If there is some time machine or camera that can show me where I was in that timeline of my life, I will be more than happy and amazed.
1. I wanted to see the place and room where I was born. The very first moments of my existence on this planet earth. Crying or wanting to sleep? How do I look like? Yeah, I know, I looked liked me but in real...how was I on my first minute of birth? Who all were there? What was their reactions to listen to this news of my birth? Who was the first one to take me into his arms? Who kissed me first? When I got to see my mother and father? All this stuff is the place where I want to travel as my first dream destination of my existence.
2. The very first day of my school. How was I like - wanting to go or not? How was I feeling seeing a lot of kids on the gates of the school? Whom did I first met as a child on my first day at school? Who were my friends? With whom I shared my lunch box with? or didn't shared at all? Was I crying the whole time or slept for a while on the bench? Who was my teacher or maid that took care of me in the school? What was I thinking about my parents to drop me to school all alone in midst of rush of kids? These are some of the questions that I wanted to get answers of from my travel to my second phase of life.
3. The very first salary cheque or cash payment which I received for my efforts for whole of the month. Was I happy? What did I do with the money? What was I feeling? Who congratulated me? Where did I went to party? Did I visited some temple or donated something to charity? What was my expression when I saw the salary amount in my account or hands? Who gave me my first salary? It was the biggest struggle in my life to earn my first salary that I really wanted to enjoy now using the travel destination machine.
4. The birth of my first child. How happy was I becoming the father of someone looking like an angel? What feelings I had as a new generation has arrived in our family? What did I said to my wife? How eager and nervous I was to hold my daughter in my hands? How did the kid react to my holding? Did she cried? Did she smiled when I took her in my arms? What was the reaction of my family and relatives? Who all came to visit my wife in the hospital? What was the reaction of my friends when I broke the news to them? Did I slept or kept looking at the angel? Did I comfort or thanked my wife after this complicated process of child birth? I really wanted to go and relive this second last destination of my life.
5. The final one is the last day of my life on this planet Earth as I say good bye to everyone. Is it informed death or I died in an instance? Is it a natural death or accident? How happy or sad is my family on my death? Who all loved me and cared about me? What did I do wrong in my life? What are the people's reactions after my death? Is my family ok? Who is taking care of them after I died? What was people's opinion about my life? Are they cursing me or really feeling pain in their hearts? What I have left for my family? Is it a lot of debt or plenty of income for their survival? How many of my company colleagues/bosses are attending my funeral? The time I spent away from home for work was it worthwhile? These all questions gives a lot of perspective as I am on my deathbed. This is the final destination that I wanted to see today or asap before I actually reach there.
Yeah, I did wanted to visit the day of my marriage once again, so that I could stop myself from doing it. But if I would have stopped it, I would not become father to a lovely daughter and could not travel there so I have dropped this dream destination out of my list to keep it at 5. Else, surely I would love to revisit the day I got married and check out my confusion and happiness as whole family is celebrating and dancing in this big fat wedding. There are always some funny moments in everyone's marriage that you will always remember. It can be some relative or some ritual or someone dancing with full on alcohol effect or whatever the case may be.
Till that time, I reach my final destination - I am living in this longest destination of life called MARRIAGE!
Cheers!!!
These images are taken from various internet sources by Googling on Google baba!
FORTITUDE is courage in pain or adversity and it comes to all of us automatically when we see someone close to us in pain or facing some situations where he/she might need our help or their lives is in danger.
We all must have faced these situations and when we fight for someone we love, we feel good. The human emotions are all made up of helping and supporting each other through thick and thin. We all try to share our joys and our problems because that is what brings us together and closer to each other.
How far would you go to get
closer to someone you love?
We all do like to spend some quality time with the
people we love, it can be parents, in laws, wife, son/daughter, brother,
sister, cousin, relatives or friends. We all try to go as further as our
pockets and time allows us to be with them. I have a small story which I would
like to share where I think I went a lot further to get close to my wife and
daughter. My wife used to work in Mumbai whereas I was in Delhi after our marriage. She took some 3
months leave to come to Delhi
and look out for job. She tried a lot but when the time was over, her company
retrenched her without any notice. She fought hard for a good job in her life
and did got but now it was no more. She came back to Delhi and she tried a lot but she got no job
in the area of specialization she wanted. Meanwhile, we were blessed with a
beautiful daughter and it was already some 14 months that she was without the
job. We tried a lot for her job and even used the services of job websites but
of no use. She got a job in Mumbai once again which was a contract but the
difficulty lied in the small daughter which was just 4 months old at that time.
We fought a lot over going and not going as our daughter is small and she will
get a job in Delhi.
Meanwhile, with a new year, we tried a lot and it was the time, when I used to
sit outside with our 6 months old daughter in the car, while she is being
interviewed. My parents and her parents were out-stationed and could not come
to help us too. She was interviewed by many companies in her job profile and as
locations was far so I used to take both of them with me. It used to be a great
experience as my daughter wanted to be with her mother always. Finally, there
was that day when I knew that she will crack the job interview this time and we
were sitting in the car for three days while she was offered the job. It was a
great day because it took her more than 20 months to get the same kind of job
she was looking for and all because I was not able to move to Mumbai myself.
Her very first day at job, it was
my day to take care of our 8 months old daughter and I took a leave to take
care of her. It was the day when I realized that it’s so difficult to raise a
kid without mother being present. She will be gone the whole day and I tried to
feed her on her mom’s advice, played with her but that day I was not able to
brush my teeth. She didn’t allowed me to move anywhere as she thought as I will
also be gone as she couldn’t find her mom too. Considering my situation, my
mother in law came and supported us for some days. But it was difficult for her
too and I got an onsite offer around the same time. This was required to be
grabbed as we both had to pay for our educational loans. This created to a lot
of confusion in our lives and with small daughter it brought a lot of stress as
to where to keep her. We tried keeping her with a maid but it made her a little
slow and tired. With me gone to London,
she was taken care by the maid only but then something happened and the maid
left. My daughter had to go to her maternal grandparents but they could only
take care of her for about a month or so. It was the time when my mother took
hold of my daughter and she was facing all the change of places. She was
getting good care but then suddenly my mother met with an accident and her
right hand was fractured. Again, it was a great problem for the family, so my
daughter was shifted to my chacha ji home where my cousins took great care of
her. My mother didn’t want her to go anywhere else, as she made a lot of
friends there and she was happy with them. It was quiet a stressful time and I
could not take my wife as I didn’t had the marriage certificate. My wife used
to travel 300 kms every weekend to meet our daughter. It used to disturb my
daughter’s frame of mind as she would miss her after she is gone every Sunday
night. It was also not that safe to travel alone 300 kms every Friday and
Sunday nights and too tiring.
I came back from London after a span of 7 months with a lot of
toys, sweets and chocolates but she was afraid to come to me. Though she
recognized me but it was after sometime she came to me. My brother and his wife
too came from USA
around the same time. She was very happy to see us all. I drove the marriage
certificate thing as my wife’s mom was busy in something and couldn’t travel.
It was becoming difficult but finally with a lot of persuasion we got our
marriage certificate formalities completed. When I talked to my company about
their VISA processing they said that there is no budget as it’s March end. We
will approve your request on 1 April. They did approve the request over email
on 1 April but I could not raise the request in our system as the cost centres
for the old year got expired and the new ones was not made till the 15th
May. Again a lot of trouble and when I raised the request they got their visa’s
processed after a lot of documentation went through me from London. It was around the time to travel, my
project said that they are releasing me and all the hopes again diminished to
show them the city of London.
My boss wanted me to go back to India
and I requested to stay may be in another project and they found out another
project for me. But again, the travel request was not approved and the system
wanted to know whether I will be in London
for another six months or not? Somehow after a lot of drama, my super boss
approved their travel and they finally came to see me in London.
It was a great pleasure to see both
of them again after a gap of 4 months. It was a great beginning of good times
and we saw the great city of London, Bath, Stonehenge, Isle of Skye
together. My daughter started speaking there only but also got addicted to a
lot of milk there. They stayed there for 23 days and it was the best time of my
life. I celebrated my birthday during that time. I soon came back as I could not find other goal for myself to achieve
after everything was sorted out in my life. I went back in another 2 months
time to stay with my family and my daughter was admitted to play way school and
I used to pick her after the office. It was a great time that I spend with here
while travelling back to home and thereafter.
Once again I am in South Africa and she is in India and I do
miss them a lot…
British Airways reduced the distance between families via their services and I am too looking forward to dividing the distances between me and my family.
HOPE is something we all need and we all have to take us through the journey of life. Hope makes all things possible with right actions and will power to achieve the same.
As mentioned in the picture, "Hope may also refer to the desire for victory and lasting peace". We all take actions towards a goal with a lot of enthusiasm with great hope that we will achieve the same sooner than later.
Hope does brings a lot of stability during the difficult times and this all the world has read and found out from a lot of books and movies based on World War times and situations likes these.
I do hope that my blog will reach 100,000 pageviews by the end of this year and I am taking actions towards achieving this goal.
I am feeling that the colour has some divine blessings attached to the same. It could be the effect of Tuesday and I must be missing the visit to Lord Hanuman temple or it can be that I am liking the aura of these flowers.
The choice to think whichever way is entirely yours and this is what makes us unique and blessed.
Life has it’s ups and downs and so is the sunshine too
in our lives. A moment of truth that keeps us hopeful is that there will be
alternate of both happening across our lifetimes and gives us the right
perspective to enjoy the journey and not the destination.
As soon as Abhay started advertising of this latest reality show from Zee TV, it caught a lot of eyeballs. HUM TUM has always been a topic which no one could understand. The best book that could ever touch this topic is "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". I was totally glued to understanding the show better and suddenly I checked the tweet from Indiblogger that this show will be launched to bloggers in Mumbai and worldwide as a meet. I felt really proud to be a part of the Indiblogger network.
Coming back to Connected HUM TUM, it is a real life experience of 6 women who has lived their lives on their own terms obviously as a mother, daughter, student, housewife, working women serving various roles with perfection. In this world where we don't trust ourselves, sharing our lives with million of people makes us vulnerable and does requires a lot of courage. If I think of myself sharing my life on camera, I would not be able to do it. Projecting an image as an actor is easy but showcasing your real life, in your real world home and friends and scenario is really difficult. I really salute the guts of all these six women which were revealed to all of us at the meet.
The show will start on Monday 3 June 2013 and will be broadcasted daily from Monday to Friday.
Why do we feel connected?
I think we feel connected to someone as we all go through the same emotions and feelings in this life. The struggle for someone may come in different package but it will come and everyone will be facing the same. When you see someone surviving in that face of problems, you kind of reflect or introspect into yourself and a real life thing you faces comes to mind immediately and so comes emotions that you felt at that moment of time in your life. Our life is based on emotions and feelings which explains why we feel connected.
I salute the idea of featuring and shooting this amazing series by Zee TV and the serial director Paromita Vohra. I wish the series a lot of TRP and success. I hope that the more I see the episodes daily, more I will miss the lives of these 6 really courageous ladies. Till that time, I hope to live my life with laughter and joy!
